Understanding Infidelity & Communication: A Guide by Positive Talk

Positive Talk • April 9, 2025

Infidelity and Communication: Strengthening Your Relationship 

Infidelity is one of the most challenging issues a relationship can face. It is often accompanied by feelings of betrayal, mistrust, and deep emotional pain for all parties involved. While infidelity can strain even the strongest partnerships, it is important to recognise that communication plays a vital role in its prevention and rebuilding trust if it occurs. By cultivating open, honest, and effective communication, couples can strengthen their bond, address potential issues early, and reduce the likelihood of infidelity. 

Understanding Infidelity: Signs and Reasons 

Types of Infidelity, infidelity comes in many forms, and understanding these can help individuals recognise and address potential concerns. The main types include: 


  • Emotional Infidelity: Developing a deep emotional connection with someone outside the relationship that surpasses the intimacy shared with one’s partner. This type often begins subtly and may not initially seem like a betrayal. 
  • Physical Infidelity: Engaging in physical acts of intimacy with someone outside the relationship. Physical infidelity is often the most commonly recognised type of cheating. 
  • Sexual Infidelity: Pursuing purely sexual relationships outside the primary partnership, even without emotional attachment. This often stems from unmet sexual desires within the relationship. 
  • Online Infidelity: Engaging in online behaviours, such as sexting, online dating, or forming romantic connections through social media. With the rise of technology, online infidelity has become increasingly prevalent. 


Common Reasons for Infidelity  

Understanding the root causes of infidelity is key to addressing it. Common reasons include: 

  • Lack of Communication: Poor communication can lead to unmet needs, misunderstandings, and emotional distance. 
  • Emotional Dissatisfaction: Feeling unheard, unappreciated, or emotionally neglected can drive individuals to seek emotional connection elsewhere. 
  • Sexual Dissatisfaction: A mismatch in sexual desires or lack of physical intimacy can create frustration and vulnerability to temptation. 
  • Opportunity and Temptation: Situations where boundaries are unclear or easily crossed can create opportunities for infidelity. 
  • Personal Factors: Low self-esteem, unresolved past trauma, or a need for validation outside the relationship often contribute to infidelity. 
  • External Stressors: Financial struggles, work stress, and major life changes can strain a relationship and increase vulnerability to cheating. 

Managing Online Infidelity    

Understanding the root causes of infidelity is key to addressing it. Common reasons include: 

  • Lack of Communication: Poor communication can lead to unmet needs, misunderstandings, and emotional distance. 
  • Emotional Dissatisfaction: Feeling unheard, unappreciated, or emotionally neglected can drive individuals to seek emotional connection elsewhere. 
  • Sexual Dissatisfaction: A mismatch in sexual desires or lack of physical intimacy can create frustration and vulnerability to temptation. 
  • Opportunity and Temptation: Situations where boundaries are unclear or easily crossed can create opportunities for infidelity. 
  • Personal Factors: Low self-esteem, unresolved past trauma, or a need for validation outside the relationship often contribute to infidelity. 
  • External Stressors: Financial struggles, work stress, and major life changes can strain a relationship and increase vulnerability to cheating. 

Mental Health and Infidelity 

Mental health challenges can indirectly contribute to infidelity by straining the relationship or altering emotional needs. For instance: 


  • Depression or Anxiety: Individuals may struggle to communicate their needs or misinterpret their partner’s behaviour, creating distance. 
  • Low Self-Esteem: A need for external validation can make individuals more susceptible to temptation. 


Seeking therapy for mental health concerns not only improves your personal wellbeing but can also strengthen the relationship. Addressing personal challenges reduces the likelihood of misunderstandings and emotional neglect. Therapy is a powerful tool for navigating infidelity, communication breakdowns, and other relationship challenges. For guidance tailored to your unique needs, contact Positive Talk today to work with an experienced counsellor who can help you rebuild trust and connection. 


Coping Strategies for All Parties Involved 

Infidelity affects everyone involved, coping with its aftermath requires emotional resilience, understanding and often professional support.


Here is how each party can navigate this challenging time: 


For the Betrayed Partner 

  • Acknowledge Your Emotions 
  • Seek Professional support 
  • Set Boundaries 
  • Avoid Rash Decisions 
  • For the Partner Who Was Unfaithful 
  • Take Responsibility 
  • Commit to Transparency 
  • Engage in Self-Reflection 

 

For Both Partners 

  • Professional Support 
  • Practice Patience 
  • Rebuild Trust 


For tailored support reach out to Positive Talk today to speak with a therapist who can guide you through these challenges. 


How Communication Reduces the Risk of Infidelity 

Open and effective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. It allows couples to address concerns, express needs, and foster a deeper emotional connection. Here’s how communication helps: 



1. Identifying Unmet Needs: Many instances of infidelity stem from unmet emotional or physical needs. By discussing these openly through relationship counselling can be worked on together to find solutions before issues escalate. 

2. Resolving Conflicts Early: Effective communication is proved to resolve most conflicts early 

3. Building Emotional Intimacy: Sharing vulnerabilities and Emotional closeness can be restored through therapy. 

4. Setting Boundaries: Clear boundaries outlined in therapy 

5. Encouraging Mutual Understanding: Understanding each other's perspectives 


Effective Communication Skills: The 5-Step Challenge 

Developing effective communication skills can transform how couples navigate their relationship. Try this 5-step challenge to improve your communication: 


  1. Identify Your Emotions 
  2. Express Yourself Clearly 
  3. Understand Your Partner’s Perspective 
  4. Work Towards Resolution 
  5. Build Communication Skills 


 

Need help enhancing your communication skills? Contact Positive Talk to schedule an appointment today with one of our experienced counsellors. 


Challenge Communication Styles and Their Impact 

Recognising communication styles can help partners understand and adapt to each other’s needs: 



  • Passive: Avoids expressing feelings or needs, leading to misunderstandings and resentment. 
  • Aggressive: Communicates in a confrontational way that can intimidate or alienate the partner. 
  • Passive-Aggressive: Avoids direct communication but expresses discontent subtly, creating confusion. 
  • Assertive: Balances honesty with respect, fostering healthy and constructive conversations. 


Assertive communication is the goal. It promotes understanding, reduces conflict, and strengthens the emotional connection between partners. 


Other Relationship Challenges Linked to Infidelity 

Infidelity rarely occurs in isolation. It often coincides with other relationship challenges, including: 

  • Trust Issues 
  • Financial Stress 
  • Unrealistic Expectations 
  • Imbalance in Effort 
  • Negative Feelings or Personal Boundaries 
  • Parenthood/Family Adjustment  


Therapies to Support Relationship Healing 

Infidelity and other relationship challenges can cause emotional pain, mistrust, and feelings of disconnection. Professional therapy offers a safe, structured environment for couples to address these challenges, improve communication, and rebuild their bond. Below are some highly effective therapeutic approaches to support relationship healing: 


1. Person-Centred Therapy: This non-judgmental approach helps individuals explore their emotions, fostering self-awareness and empathy. It encourages mutual understanding and personal growth, making it particularly effective for partners working through emotional distance or unresolved issues. 


2. Conflict Resolution Therapy: Focused on teaching practical strategies to handle disagreements constructively; this therapy promotes: 


  • Clear Communication Skills: Expressing concerns and needs without escalating conflict. 
  • Problem-Solving Techniques: Collaborating on solutions that meet both partners' needs. 
  • De-escalation Tools: It’s ideal for couples stuck in cycles of recurring arguments. 


Conflict resolution therapy teaches practical skills to navigate disagreements constructively and reach solutions that satisfy both parties. 


3. Couples Counselling: A comprehensive framework that helps couples: 


  • Rebuild trust after betrayal through open communication. 
  • Address root causes of conflict, such as unmet needs or external stressors. 
  • Set and work toward shared relationship goals. 


This approach suits couples seeking to strengthen their connection or resolve specific challenges. 


4. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): EFT focuses on building emotional intimacy by reshaping negative interaction patterns. Key benefits include: 

  • Strengthening Emotional Bonds 
  • Breaking Conflict Cycles 
  • Creating Lasting Change 

Other Therapeutic Approaches to Consider 

Depending on the unique challenges a couple is facing, other therapeutic approaches may also be helpful: 

  • Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT): Focuses on identifying and changing unhelpful thoughts and behaviours that contribute to relationship issues. 
  • Narrative Therapy: Encourages couples to reframe their story, focusing on strengths and positive experiences rather than solely on challenges. 
  • Sex Therapy: Specifically addresses issues related to physical intimacy, such as mismatched desires or sexual dissatisfaction. 


How to Get Help 

If you are struggling with infidelity, communication challenges, or other relationship issues, it’s important to seek help from professionals who can provide guidance and support. Therapy offers a safe space to: 

  • Navigate difficult conversations and rebuild trust. 
  • Develop healthier communication skills. 
  • Address underlying issues contributing to relationship challenges. 
  • Strengthen emotional intimacy and understanding. 


Infidelity and communication challenges don’t have to define your relationship. With the right tools and support, it’s possible to rebuild trust, deepen your connection, and create a healthier future together. You do not have to face these challenges alone. Contact Positive Talk today to schedule an appointment with one of our experienced counsellors. Together, we can work towards healing and building a stronger, healthier relationship



Article created by Sureya at Positive Talk 


By Guest Post October 29, 2025
Children’s charity that grants wishes for young patients in hospital and donates toys, games and support to children’s wards across the UK A child’s wish work collaboratively with Positive talk support Services When a child is unwell and spending time in hospital, life can suddenly feel very small. Days revolve around treatments, tests, and waiting rooms. For children, the loss of play, normal routines, and connection with friends can feel overwhelming. For parents and families, the worry and emotional toll can be equally heavy. At A Child’s Wish, we believe that even in the hardest times, every child deserves moments of happiness. That is why we dedicate ourselves to granting wishes for children and young people in hospital, and to supporting wards with toys, games, and resources that bring comfort and joy. The power of a wish A wish may seem like a simple thing, a toy, an outing, or the chance to meet a hero. But for a child in hospital, that moment carries extraordinary power. It provides a break from medical routines, a spark of excitement, and a reminder that they are seen and celebrated beyond their illness. We have seen first hand how a child’s face lights up when their wish comes true. The joy is infectious, spreading not only to the child but also to their family and even to the staff caring for them. Wishes create memories that last far beyond the hospital walls, offering families a reminder of hope and resilience during uncertain times. Supporting the people around the child When a child is in hospital, their family is there too, parents keeping vigil at the bedside, siblings adjusting to changed routines, grandparents offering quiet strength. We know that a wish doesn’t just lift the child’s spirits, it creates a ripple effect of comfort and encouragement for the whole family. Hospital wards also benefit from our work. By donating toys, books, and games, we help transform what can feel like an intimidating environment into one that is brighter, friendlier, and more supportive of children’s emotional needs. These small changes make a big difference to everyday life in hospital. A community of kindness A Child’s Wish could not exist without the generosity of our supporters. Every donation, every fundraiser, and every act of kindness allows us to continue making hospital stays less daunting and more hopeful. From sponsored runs to bake sales, from corporate partnerships to individual giving, our community comes together in countless ways to make wishes happen. Each contribution helps us reach more children, provide more resources to hospitals, and create more moments of joy where they are needed most. Why joy matters Medical care is vital, but so too is emotional wellbeing. Research shows that happiness, play, and positive experiences support children’s resilience, reduce stress, and help them cope better with treatment. For families, shared joyful experiences provide relief and lasting memories to hold onto during uncertain times. This is why our work matters. Wishes are more than just gifts, they are reminders that even in hospital, childhood is still worth celebrating. How you can help If you’d like to be part of this mission, there are many ways to get involved: Donate – Every pound goes directly towards making wishes come true and supporting children’s wards. Fundraise – From local events to creative challenges, your efforts bring joy to children across the UK. Partner with us – Businesses, schools, and community groups can make a lasting impact through collaboration. Spread the word – Share our story and help others discover how they can support children in hospital. Together, we can make wishes come true Every child deserves moments of joy, no matter their circumstances. At A Child’s Wish, we are proud to play a part in bringing light into difficult times.  If you would like to find out more, get involved, or support our work, please visit www.wishcometrue.org.uk . Because when wishes come true, hope shines brighter, for children, for families, and for us all.
By Positive Talk October 21, 2025
We provide counselling, mentoring, life coaching, mediation and wellbeing services for children, young people, adults, relationships, and businesses. Working in healthcare can be incredibly rewarding, but also deeply demanding. Long shifts, staff shortages, and the emotional weight of supporting others often mean healthcare staff may feel anxious, overwhelmed, or disconnected from themselves and loved ones. You may finish a shift feeling completely drained, carrying the weight of patients’ stories home with you. For many healthcare workers, there’s little time to switch off or recover before it all begins again. Over time, that pressure can take its toll on both mental and physical health. At Positive Talk Counselling Services , we are here to support you with any challenges you may be facing, whether that’s stress from the workplace, difficulties at home, or simply the need for a safe space to talk. You don’t have to do this alone. Healthcare workers may experience unique pressures: the constant demands of caring for others, exhaustion from shift work, or the emotional impact of difficult cases. Many also face heightened anxiety, burnout, or struggles with sleep, confidence, and relationships. It can feel as though there is never enough time to pause and put your own wellbeing first. In our sessions, we create a space where you can talk openly about these challenges, reduce the stress, and find strategies to feel more like yourself again. Who We Support We work with a people across all ages such as children, young people, adults, families, and professionals across many sectors. Our clients include healthcare staff, carers, teachers, students, and business professionals. We also offer mediation to support healthier communication and resolve conflicts, whether in families, workplaces, or communities. We also work with organisations to improve wellbeing in the workplace, supporting both individuals and teams. Each stage of life can bring its own transitions and challenges, and our role is to provide tailored support for your wellbeing. For example, healthcare staff may experience stress and burnout, coping with juggling of roles such as being a parent and dealing with children may feel pressure at school, young people struggling with friendships or identity, and parents/healthcare staff may find family responsibilities overwhelming. Professionals in demanding roles may also face long hours or workplace pressures that affect mental health.We are here to support Supporting Children, Young People, Adults, and Families At Positive Talk, we believe that wellbeing matters at every stage of life: Children and Young People : We support with issues such as anxiety, low self-esteem, school or exam stress, and friendship challenges, helping young people build resilience and confidence. Adults: Many adults, including healthcare staff, struggling with low mood, identity concerns, or life transitions. Counselling provides a space to reflect, reset, and find healthier ways forward. Families and Relationships : We help families navigate conflict, improve communication, and strengthen bonds. Therapy may also support couples or relatives facing difficulties and change. How Positive Talk Counselling Can Support You 1.Coping with Stress and Burnout Healthcare work can be relentless, leaving little time to recover. Counselling offers a safe space to explore the pressures you face, manage feelings of overwhelm, and develop strategies to prevent burnout. 2.A Sa fe Space to Talk Therapy at Positive Talk provides a confidential and compassionate environment where you may explore work related stress, family pressures, relationship issues, or anything else that may be affecting you. 3.Managing Anxiety and Low Mood At Positive Talk we use practical tools and techniques to help regulate stress, reduce anxiety, and support your mental health, whether that’s linked to work, home, or life transitions. 4.Rebuilding Confidence At Positive Talk Counselling Services we can help you reconnect with your sense of self worth, separate from your role as a carer or professional, and find healthier ways to live and work. 5.Support for Relationships and Families At Positive Talk we can help you strengthen communication, set boundaries, and nurture healthier connections with colleagues, family members, or partners. 6.Life Coaching Alongside therapy at Positive Talk we offer, coaching support that can offer structure and motivation to move forward with clarity, whether that’s building routines, breaking down overwhelming tasks, or achieving personal goals. 7.Mentoring Mentoring at Positive Talk we provide supportive guidance through transitions, offering space to reflect on strengths and values which may help you feel empowered about your next steps. 8.Mediation We provide mediation services to resolve conflicts constructively, whether within families, workplaces, or communities. 9.Business Support At Positive Talk we provide business support aimed at individuals, Senior managers, CEO’s and support team morale, through tailored workplace services. This includes counselling, stress management workshops, conflict resolution training, and leadership coaching, helping improve wellbeing, team dynamics, and productivity. Prioritising Whole Life Wellbeing Life can bring challenges at every stage, from childhood through to adulthood. With the right support, these challenges may also become opportunities for growth, resilience, and renewal. At Positive Talk Counselling support services, we’re passionate about supporting people to feel empowered, heard, and understood. Whatever you’re facing, you don’t have to go through it alone. Reach Out Today You’re not alone, and there are ways to feel more like yourself again and how you would like life to look like for you, and if you’re reading this and thinking of a friend, colleague, or loved one who might benefit from talking to someone, please feel free to share this with them. Reach out to Positive Talk Services today and take your first step towards growth, moving forward and insightful progress. We are ready to listen and support you. We offer compassion. You deserve to thrive. In person sessions: Derby, Coventry, Manchester, Leamington Spa, Birmingham, and Greater London Online Support: Available nationwide across the UK Hours: 8am-9pm, 7 days a week Contact us Wondering if this is the right step? Visit www.positive-talk.com to learn more, book a free consultation, or connect with someone who’s ready to listen. Call us: 07887 192 192 Follow us: Facebook Instagram X YouTube LinkdIn Snapchat TikTok
By Positive Talk October 9, 2025
Understanding Mental Health: Why It Matters What is mental health? Mental health is a vital part of overall wellbeing. It includes our emotional, psychological, and social health, and it affects how we think, feel, and act. Good mental health helps us cope with everyday stresses, build relationships, and make healthy choices. Like physical health, mental health changes throughout life and requires ongoing care and attention. Everyone experiences periods of stress, uncertainty, or low mood, maintaining good mental health means recognising these changes and seeking support when needed. This year’s World Mental Health Day theme, “Mental health is a universal human right,” highlights that access to mental health care and support should not depend on where someone lives, their background, or their income. Everyone deserves to feel safe, supported, and understood. Why this conversation matters In the UK, around one in four people experience a mental health problem each year, and one in six report experiencing symptoms such as anxiety or depression in any given week. Yet many still wait months, sometimes years, for support. Although awareness has grown, stigma and silence persist. Many of us still believe we should “just cope,” even when we’re overwhelmed and because mental health is invisible, it’s often the first thing that may be overlooked. Mental health affects everyone. It’s the quiet foundation beneath our daily lives, the thoughts that shape our mornings, the sense of connection that makes us feel human. Ignoring it doesn’t make it go away, it simply makes life heavier to carry. Mental health is not about being happy all the time Good mental health isn’t the same as constant positivity. It’s the ability to feel, fully and safely, even when emotions are uncomfortable. It’s being able to recover from setbacks and hold onto hope during difficult times. We may have moments when life feels too much, when the pressure to hold everything together becomes exhausting. These moments don’t mean we’re failing, they mean we’re human. Research shows that almost 60% of UK adults say their mental health has worsened over the past five years, with stress, loneliness, and financial pressure among the leading causes. These figures remind us that behind every number is a person doing their best to get through the day, often silently. What helps Looking after mental health doesn’t always require big, dramatic changes. Often, it begins with the smallest acts of care, the ones that gently reconnect us with ourselves: · Taking a few deep breaths before reacting. · Talking honestly with someone you trust. · Spending time outdoors or moving your body. · Saying no when you need to rest. · Speaking kindly to yourself, even when it feels unnatural. These small actions might not fix everything, but they create breathing space, a reminder that we have agency, and that we’re not defined by struggle alone. Everyone deserves support At Positive Talk, we believe mental health care is a right, not a privilege. Everyone should have access to spaces where they can be heard without judgment and supported with compassion. Therapy is one way to create that space, a place to slow down, make sense of what’s happening inside, and begin to heal. Support doesn’t always start in a therapy room. Sometimes it starts with a friend asking, “How are you really?” or someone admitting, “I’m not okay.” Every conversation helps to dismantle stigma and build a culture where care is normal, not exceptional. Reach out for support This World Mental Health Day, we invite you to take a moment to check in with yourself. How are you, truly? What might you need today: rest, connection, or perhaps a little compassion for yourself? And if things feel heavy right now, please don’t face it alone. Reach out a friend, a GP, or a therapist at Positive Talk. Support is available, and you deserve it.  Created by Priyanka, Integrative Therapist (MSc, MNCPS Accred.)on behalf of Positive Talk
By Positive Talk October 8, 2025
ADHD: What It Is, and What support is available 1. What is ADHD? ADHD, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects attention, organisation,. It’s not a sign of laziness, bad parenting, or lack of effort. ADHD affects the way the brain regulates focus, energy, and emotions, which means people may find it harder to manage time, stay organised, or complete tasks, even when they want to. There are three main types of ADHD: inattentive, hyperactive impulsive and combined. Symptoms can look different from person to person, some may struggle with concentration or forgetfulness, while others feel constantly “on the go.” ADHD is not just a childhood condition. It often continues into adulthood, though it can present differently at different ages. 2. How common is ADHD in the UK? ADHD is much more common than most people realise, and many people remain undiagnosed. · In England alone, around 2.5 million people are estimated to have ADHD, including 741,000 children and young people. · As of 2025, more than 500,000 people are on NHS waiting lists for an ADHD assessment. · Among adults, around 14% show signs of ADHD on screening tests, yet fewer than 2% have a formal diagnosis. · GP records suggest that only about 1 in 9 people with ADHD are currently diagnosed. These numbers show a huge gap between how many people have ADHD and how many actually receive help or support. 3. Why ADHD often goes unnoticed ADHD can be difficult to recognise because it doesn’t always appear the same in everyone. Some people are very outwardly energetic or impulsive; others appear quiet and distracted. Many learn to mask their symptoms, working harder than others to keep up or hiding their struggles due to fear of judgement. There are also common myths that prevent people from seeking help, such as: · “ADHD is just bad behaviour.” · “It only affects children.” · “You can’t have ADHD if you did well at school.” ADHD can affect anyone, regardless of IQ or background. It’s about how the brain processes information and manages focus, not about effort or ability. 4. What ADHD can look like day to day ADHD can affect many areas of life. Someone might: · Forget appointments or lose things often. · Struggle to start or finish tasks, especially if they’re repetitive. · Feel restless, talk quickly, or interrupt without meaning to. · Experience emotional ups and downs. · Find time management, budgeting, or organising daily life especially draining. These challenges can lead to frustration, low confidence, or burnout, especially when people don’t yet know why things feel harder for them. But ADHD also comes with strengths. Many people with ADHD are creative, quick thinkers, good problem solvers, and passionate about the things they care about. With understanding and the right tools, those strengths can shine. 5. Why early recognition matters Without support, ADHD can contribute to difficulties at school, work, or in relationships. It’s also linked to higher rates of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Recognising ADHD early can prevent years of unnecessary struggle. At the moment, though, many people wait months, sometimes years , for an assessment. This can be discouraging, but it’s important to remember that support doesn’t have to wait for a diagnosis. 6. What can help you · Therapy or coaching to help with organisation, focus, emotional regulation, and self-understanding. · Medication prescribed by specialists, which can help balance attention and energy levels. · Routine and structure, such as clear plans, reminders, and breaking tasks into smaller steps. · Lifestyle support, regular sleep, physical activity, and balanced nutrition. · Community or workplace adjustments, such as flexible deadlines or quiet spaces. Even small changes can ease pressure and restore confidence. 7. ADHD affects adults, too Many adults reach their 20s, 30s, or 40s before being diagnosed, often after noticing ongoing challenges like disorganisation, burnout, or difficulty managing emotions. For some, a diagnosis brings relief a new understanding of why things have always felt harder than they “should.” Awareness is key. The more people understand what ADHD looks like in adults, especially as many may mask symptoms, the more likely they are to recognise when something deeper is going on. 8. Reaching out for support  If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. ADHD is common, and help is available. You can speak to your GP about an assessment or connect with us for guidance and resources. At Positive Talk, we work with many clients who are exploring or living with ADHD. Therapy can help you understand your mind better, develop strategies that fit you, and rebuild confidence.
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You don’t need to drink every day for alcohol to impact your health. Drinking too much, too fast, too often can still carry serious risks, especially when it becomes a pattern. 1.What is binge drinking? NHS describes it as drinking a l arge amount of alcohol in a short period of time. According to UK Chief Medical Officers: 8+ units in one session for men 6+ units in one session for women That’s roughly: 3 pints of strong beer for men 2 large glasses of wine for women 2. Am I drinking too much? To reduce health risks, UK guidelines recommend that both men and women drink no more than 14 units of alcohol per week, and that those units are spread out over three or more days. That works out to roughly: 6 pints of regular-strength beer (4%) 6 medium glasses of wine (175ml at 13%) 14 single shots of spirits (25ml at 40%) 3. Signs you might be binge drinking ¨ Drinking more than planned ¨ Blacking out or forgetting parts of the night ¨ Using alcohol to “switch off” from stress or feelings ¨ Feeling low, anxious, or guilty after drinking ¨ Struggling to stop once you start ¨ Only drinking occasionally, but excessively when you do Remember: You don’t have to drink daily to be at risk. 4. Why people binge drink Many people use alcohol to cope. It might feel like the only way to relax or socialise, especially if you’re burnt out, anxious or trying to avoid difficult emotions. Common triggers include: ¨ Workplace stress ¨ Relationship problems ¨ Trauma or unresolved grief ¨ Loneliness or boredom ¨ Social pressure or cultural norms 5. What are the dangers of binge drinking? Binge drinking increases your risk of both short- and long-term harm. Short-term risks: ¨ Accidents and injuries (e.g., falls, burns, road traffic accidents) ¨ Alcohol poisoning ¨ Sexual assault ¨ Unintentional violence or aggression leading to fights ¨ Memory blackouts Long-term risks: ¨ Liver disease ¨ Heart problems ¨ Increased risk of cancers (e.g., mouth, breast, liver) ¨ Mental health issues like depression and anxiety ¨ Alcohol dependency ¨ Permanent memory problems, including alcohol-related brain damage (e.g., Korsakoff’s syndrome) Even if you function well in daily life, binge drinking can still damage your health over time. 6. How to stop binge drinking: real strategies that work 1. Recognise your “first drink logic” People often say: “I’ll just have one.” But once alcohol kicks in, the brain’s prefrontal cortex (impulse control) gets dialled down. If the first drink is what leads to all the others, consider avoiding that one drink altogether in your highest-risk settings (e.g., Friday nights, certain friends, post-stress routines). 2. Break the “end of the week = drink” association If your drinking kicks off on Friday night, it’s likely become ritualised - a cue → reward cycle. What helps: ¨ Replace the time and location with something else, e.g., go to a gym class at 6pm Friday, not the pub ¨ Change your scenery right after work: walk, call someone, shower, cook something grounding 3. Name your “drinking voice”- and externalise it Clients often say things like: “It’s like this voice says, you’ve had a hard day, you deserve it.” In therapy, we call this externalisation . Give that voice a name and learn to respond to it as one part of you, not the whole truth. 5. Have a prepared response to peer pressure or influence A lot of binge drinking happens socially, not because people want to drink over their limit, but because they feel unable to say no due to peer pressure or influence. Prepare one sentence you can use when pressured: ¨ “I’m doing a reset this month; I’ll stick with this one.” ¨ “Trying to improve sleep so taking it easy tonight.” ¨ “Just pacing myself, I’ve got a big morning.” The key is confidence + vagueness . Most people won’t push after the first line if you sound sure. 7. How a therapist can help you with binge drinking When people come to therapy to talk about drinking, therapists don’t approach it with judgement, we approach it with understanding. Because drinking is usually doing something for you. It might be easing anxiety, numbing stress, helping you feel something (or nothing), or offering a sense of connection where you otherwise feel out of place. In therapy, we gently explore what your drinking is trying to manage and begin to build tools that support you in safer, more sustainable ways. Below are some of the evidence-based techniques your therapist might use in sessions tailored to your needs: Motivational Interviewing This technique helps you unpack the real reasons you might want to drink less, even if you're not ready to stop. It's especially helpful if you feel conflicted about change. Tracking We often use a drinking and mood diary to identify the patterns behind the behaviour. You will log: ¨ What you drank ¨ What triggered it (emotion, situation, thought) ¨ What you hoped alcohol would do ¨ How you felt before and after This helps you start recognising your own cues and cycles. You’re not just cutting out alcohol, you’re understanding it. CBT techniques In therapy, we look at the beliefs and thoughts that drive your drinking: “I can’t unwind without it.” “Just one won’t hurt.” “Everyone else is drinking, I’ll feel weird if I don’t.” CBT helps you challenge these thoughts, plan ahead for high-risk moments, and build healthier habits that still meet your needs (like decompression, connection, or confidence). Planning for tricky situations In therapy, you might build a weekend plan or “safe exits” for social events where binge drinking is likely. ¨ Who can you call? ¨ What’s your script if someone offers you a drink? ¨ What’s your go-to “escape plan” if things feel off? Therapists help you create real-life scenarios you can rehearse, not just talk about. Boundary setting and confidence building A big part of stopping binge drinking is learning how to say no without guilt , handle peer pressure, and feel like yourself in social situations without a drink in your hand. Therapy helps you build that confidence, practice those boundaries, and understand what makes them hard in the first place. 8. How to get support You don’t have to wait for things to get worse before you get support. If binge drinking is starting to affect how you feel, function, or connect with others, therapy can help you take back control with compassion, not judgement. Schedule an appointment with Positive Talk today and take the first step toward a healthier, more balanced relationship with alcohol. Created by Priyanka, Integrative Therapist (MSc, BACP member) (If you’re interested in learning more about this topic or how therapy might support you, you can visit the author’s bio here .)
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